Couples Therapy

You may not have your usual escapes and the difficulties in your relationship may feel more noticeable or even unmanageable during the Corona virus lockdown. Couples therapy offers an arena to become aware of ourself in relationship. We then have more choice about what to do, particularly over negative or destructive behaviour. There has never been a more important time that now, during the lockdown, to try to sort out difficulties in your relationship.

My work with couples is informed by my psychodynamic understanding that the past influences the present when it has not been processed. Early life relationships lay the foundations and can become an automatic root for how we behave in adult relationships.

Typically in a session we think together about the difficult issues and conflicts between you. It may be around chores, children, in-laws, finances or sex. We try to understand why it is problematic to each of you. What are the emotions involved when a flashpoint is triggered? We try to clarify the negative pattern in your interaction. Then we think together about what are the unexpressed needs that are keeping this interaction as a repeatedly frustrating encounter.

This experience of really listening to each other, in a safe therapeutic environment, helps create a vital space between you within the relationship. Identifying and expressing your needs in this environment can be internalised and taken home with you! Gradually, a more creative and intimate relationship can emerge.

There are circumstances, however, where Couples Therapy improves the relationship just enough to enable you both to separate and divorce. Having a good enough ending, where pain and suffering are contained for you, your partner and your children, has lifelong value.

I incorporate psycho-education, where appropriate, and my practice is informed by current knowledge from neuroscience.

EMDR within Couples Therapy

One or both of you may like to work on a particular traumatic issue using EMDR. This can have a very positive impact on the individual and on the couple relationship.

Emotionally focused couple therapy

Relationship Alive Podcast

Further information